We're only human here, after all....

So, it's a brand new day and close to a brand new year. And because it's close to a new year, I feel the need to wrap up this year by saying a few things:

1. To all the people who entered my life, I couldn't be happier that you did. Each and every one of you are amazing people and I wouldn't trade you for the world. I know some of you and I have had many ups and downs, but God is shaping our relationships because he knows what we need and desire in this world. You have all made me so happy with life; a happiness you can't even imagine. THANK YOU!

2. To all the people who exited my life: I am glad you were a part of my life. No matter what the circumstances are, you left an imprint on me and shaped my life into what it is now. I am glad God put you into my life.

3. To my best friends: You guys never cease to amaze me with how much you stand by me and support me. I don't know if I could have done some of the things I have without each and every one of you this year. From moving schools to losing a close friend to just helping me keep my head up during the hard times, you guys are AMAZING. And just know, that I hope that I have given you the same feelings inside that you have given me.

4. To my family: Thanks for putting up with me through all the things that have happened in the year. I don't know if I could have made it without you.

2010 was a spectacular year and quite a miserable year all at the same time. But I have come to realize that God puts trials in our lives to help us grow as people and mature into something great. You can't expect everything to be all hunky-dory all the time. Going through a tough time makes you appreciate when you finally do get to the top of the mountain.

I'm ready to see what 2011 brings. Ready for new challenges, friends, and maybe love.

UPDATE:
1. Last day at Macy's was Wednesday. I throughly enjoyed working there as well as the people I met. I'm currently looking again, hopefully something will come up soon.
2. School is still out, ended up with a 3.79 for the semester. AHHH!
3. So happy to have my friends back home.
4. No loves. Hoping God brings the right one soon. :)

There's some insight into my life.

Today's song: Come On, Green River Ordinance. :)

You know you love me,
GG

Hey, It's me again...

So, I know it's been a while since I posted last; I'm trying to get better. I've had my ups and downs within the last few weeks. There are some FANTASTIC things going on in my life right now, and there are some no-so-great things too. I'm definitely keeping my head up. Just to keep those of you following me informed, Here's the lists of some of the goods. :)

FANTASTICS:
1. I found a jobbbb! Finally, after a long struggle, I am finally employed. It's not exactly the job I wanted but, I am still working on finding more options.
2. I take my last two finals on Monday. HALLELUAH! (And, I think I might have a 4.0!!!)
3. My braces are coming off Tuesday. I'm so excited that i'm barely sleeping at night.
4. I'm happy being single. I never thought I would say that, but it is a good feeling.
5. Christmas is soo soon! I can't wait. FAVORITE HOLIDAY!

So, I've finally made some decisions for myself. (I'm pretty pleased with myself, haha.) First, I will not settle on dating someone I know is wrong for me. I also will not date anyone who treats me anything less than what I deserve. I've done this wayyy too long and it's time for a change. Second, I know God has a perfect plan for my life, and I have finally stopped being a control freak and given it to him. He knows what I want, and will give me exactly what I desire and need in my life. I'm learning to trust him. It's a day to day process but, so far, IT'S AMAZING! Third, I need to focus on school like I did this semester, every semester. It's such a nice feeling to be at the end of the semester and not have to stress about grades.

Still missing my friends at State, alot. It's really hard being away from my support system. I guess that's what Facebook and cell phones are for. I'm so happy they will be home soon. :)

New favorite Song: Me Again, Uncle Kracker. - he actually has a softer side, and a heart. AMAZING song. Sorta explains what I am going through. (This is where the title comes from...)

Just learning to keep my head up; As put by another: Nothing puts your problems into perspective like passing a car engulfed in flames on your morning commute. "Yeah this meeting is gonna suck, but at least I'm not on fire.

You know you love me,
GG

I'm going to have to learn how to let you go somehow...

So, today is a downer kind of day. It rained today for the first time in months and it's doing crazy things to my emotions. I can't decide if I'm actually okay, or just pretending. I'm really confused about how I'm feeling right now. Am I over him or am I not?

Somehow, I'll move on baby just like you, when the desert floods and the grass grows blue...; Carrie Underwood.

All I want for my life is to be a successful nurse and mother. I want a beautiful marriage. It's just really hard being my age, which is not that old and seeing all of my friends getting engaged and married; and then there's me. It's really hard to trust God and be patient. But, I'm trying my hardest. That's for sure.

Anyway, there's my life. Hope it starts to look up soon.

You know you love me,
GG

Roll with it...

Bad things sometimes happen to good people. This is a lesson I'm beginning to learn in life. God doesn't put things in our path to be hurtful or to just sit back and laugh. Everything happens for a reason, whether you make a bad grade on a test, or lose your job. God is shaping us to be the best that we can be so he can use us in his kingdom. You have to praise him in the good times and trust him in the not-so-good times. Thank you, Romans 8:28.

Insight: You don't always know what you've got until it's gone. This is a perfect quote for what I am currently dealing with. Like in my last post, I misssss MSU. Although things in my life are going okay, I miss my support system so much. This also goes for my friends at home. I miss you guys too!

Little Bit of an Update:

1. SCHOOL: yay, good gradesss! Dr. Kerns, my A&P teacher curved exam #2 and I got an A! :) Working towards my first 4.0 and Dean's List in Nursing School. Finally doing what I love!

2. Dating: Too complicated. I've decided I have much better things to do with my time. If that special someone comes along, then we'll talk about dating then...

3. Employment: Also complicated. Job search isn't going too hot. I hope the Lord puts the right opportunity in my path soon.

4. Home life: Still crazy; The top is for my mother, and me of course.


I'm keeping my head up for now.

You know you love me,
GG

You live, You learn. ♥

You know, It's always great to be able to go back and see how I felt about things in the past. It was incredible reading my last post and knowing I learned and have matured from the experiences that I was going through at that time!

I know it's been an incredibly long time since I blogged last. I know this because I couldn't even remember the password to my blog. Thank goodness I finally remembered. I am going to have a hugeeee update starting NOW:

1. Love life: Well, see I was in a relationship for quite a while and it ended in early August. I can't believe it's almost been two months since the breakup! And, for all who know me, I would usually take something like this and let it be a negative experience, but I haven't. I am probably the happiest I have been in a long time. I am free to do as I please and I am growing as a person every day! I loveeee my life right now. As of new potentials: none so far and I'm probably going to keep it that way!

2. School: What's up, Nursing School? Yes, I transferred from the love of my life, MSU and I am now attending Baptist College of Health Sciences, located in Memphis, TN. Not going to lie, It's nothing like MSU, but it definitely has it's perks. My classes went from 250 people to 25. I am free to speak up in class! FINALLY! I feel that I learn better this way! I am making some new friends, and I'm pretty happy about it.

3. Here comes the cheesy, sad part: I miss Starkville, MS more than anyone would ever understand. Starkville is where I found myself. Where I can be myself and feel like no one judges me because they are all in the same boat I am. Zeta Tau Alpha girls were/are my life. Because of ZTA, I have found my best friends, my bridesmaids, and some of my lifelong friends. Never in a million years think that I would be the person I am today, but because of Mississippi State and the Gamma Zeta chapter of ZTA, I learned to become myself and I thank God everyday he gave me the experiences that he did while I was there.

4. Myself: This summer I went through my jaw surgery procedure! Finally, after two years of fighting insurance companies, I finally was able to have it. It was a fairly good experience, only had one major complication (I'll spare the details; it wasn't pretty.) I lost almost 20 pounds during the liquid diet I was on for 2 weeks, always a plus. Finally, it's been about 6 weeks now and almost all of my swelling is gone. On another note, I enjoy going to the gym now. It's pretty much one of my favorite things to do these days.

5. Employment: I am currently looking for a job, hopefully one in a hospital to get some good experience!

Anyway, that's about it for me, tonight! I have a huge test tomorrow!

You know you love me,

GG

Perfection is defined when your heart beats next to mine...

"I guess it's gonna have to hurt. I guess I'm gonna have to cry and let go of some things I've loved to get to the other side. It's sad, but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life starts with goodbye."

It's been a long semester. One with many ups and downs. I feel awful for not blogging at all, but I'm making up for it now. I've realized what a release blogging is for me to get all of my feelings out. I hate relationships. period. Sometimes I feel like relationships is one thing in my life that I can actually control, but honestly, you definitely cannot. You can't make someone like or not like you. You can't make people understand the feelings you have for them, even if you tell them bluntly a million times. You can't make people understand you, period. You can't force yourself to trust people when you've been hurt so bad in the past and every guy you've let in recently has let you down. You can't make people happy. People make themselves happy. No matter how hard you try, you can't please everyone.

I'm slowly learning each and every one of these truths. Especially, the last one. It is so hard for me to understand that I can't make eveyone happy. I think I try so hard that I end up failing, which makes me feel even more awful about myself. I just wish I could love myself for who I am, without changing anything about myself. I wish I could do something for me, instead of trying to make everyone else happy by bending over backwards, just for them to let me down in the future.

I don't understand why I can't just get over that one guy. I don't know why I can't trust people. I don't know why I always think the worst about everything. I honestly don't. I don't know why I just can't be happy, why I just can't let go of everything I've ever felt about myself and my relationships. I am so afraid of dying alone. Alone with no friends, alone with no soulmate, ALONE.

People always say if you lie down with dogs, you'll get fleas. So, where are my fleas? Why can't I be confident? Why can't I be like I used to be? Why did he have to hurt me like this? And why am I continuing to let him hurt me every day? Why does he always have to be in the back of my mind?

The funny thing about everyone of those questions, I've already answered them. The beginning quote means the world to me. It's a Carrie Underwood song. The song that came on right after that "one guy" broke up with me. I felt like there was some meaning in it. And still to this day, I have to remind myself that things happen for a reason. Doors close so others can open. The things I learned from each day and every new experience has made me the person who I am today and from now on, I have to make the best of every experience. Stop taking it so negatively, and know something good will come from it. I'm still looking for what good thing is going to happen because of some of the things that have happened recently. When I find out, I will be very grateful.

So, my life so far.
1. I gave my fundraising position up last week. It was definitely bittersweet. I am going to miss the running around and craziness of BMOC and the Chili-cookoff. I was named Recruitment Assistant tonight. :)
2. My grades are finally seeming to show the work that I've put in for this semester. YESSS!
3. I miss my best friend at home, so so much. She definitely is my other half. And I feel like half of me is missing.
4. This semester, I have definitely changed as a person. Mostly because of friends coming in and out of my life. I feel like my change has become a good thing. I am more of the person I aspire to be, but I'm still working towards becoming who I want to be.
5. I have a Calculus Test tomorrow. I've been on YouTube for the past 4 hours watching tutoring videos about how to do calculus because my teacher is awful. I still don't get it.
6. I changed my major. I am now following in the footsteps of my mother. I am an accounting major, and I aspire to work for Zeta Tau Alpha, INC. :)
7. Next semester is going to be VERY hard, but very worth the effort.
8. I will be a more positive person.

I couldn't ask for better friends. Period. And I thank God everyday for the life he has given me, even though I tend to complain about it alot. I'm slowly working toward changing myself.

you know you love me,
KJ

Just come and hold my hand for a while.

I'm so sorry I haven't been blogging. I know all of you are dying to know what I've been doing that has kept me from all of your lovely selves. Well, the answer is EVERYTHING. If you could only imagine. It's been intense.

So, chili cook-off is this weekend. (YAY.) I won't be so busy running around like a mad woman trying to get everything together for this, which makes Kelly a happier, less stressed girl! We almost have everything together though. We have a few couple of last minute things and that's about it for us.

I hate to be negative on here, but I'm going to spill a little of my heart. I'm so homesick. I have no idea why. It seems to hit me at the worst possible times. I miss my family and the people I love sooo much at home. I'm trying to deal with a closure on an ex-boyfriend, who seems to all the sudden have an interest again. Boys are so complicated. :\ I tried to give them up, and came to the conclusion it was just too hard. (Go figure.) My life wouldn't be so complicated if my best friends Jessica and Samantha lived here. Honestly, sometimes I feel like they are the only people I can be myself around. It's hard sometimes to act like everything is perfect in my life, and I'm so happy I have them to fall back on when I all my emotions finally bubbles over.

Back to reality. I think I've finally learned how to put myself into place, which is definitely a good thing for me. I'm starting to learn what my priorities are and how to get them in line...(it only took me 18 years....) But, it makes my life easier now that I can balance everything. Yay me.

This blog has been kind of a downer, sorry guys. I promise this will get better. My life will get better. :) Thanks for all the support all of you have given me. You are amazing people.

Love Life Update:
1. Boys are dumb and I'm not updating this anymore.
2. I kinda like a certain boy, and he'll know soon. :)

You know you love me,
GG